40 pounds gone!

I have probably tried every popular fad diet to come along.  Every single one of them promises quick, unbelievable results.  And I always believed that was the only way to lose weight.  I believed that in order to lose weight you needed to starve yourself for a few weeks, lose your weight, then go back to life as usual.  Or furiously exercise in a gym for a while until you lose some weight then go back to life as usual.

What I did not realize is that life as usual was the problem!

I lost many, many pounds using one or both of these methods. Over and over again.  I always gained the weight back, and then some.  Over the years I would gain and lose gain and lose until somewhere along the way to 50 years of age and 184lbs, I finally gave up.  I told myself that I liked being fat.  No, really. I was fine.  I was happy with size 18.  I was thrilled wearing over sized T-shirts and baggy cargo pants.  I was content to waddle my way through life. "It was probably just my age."  I would think as I huffed and puffed my way slowly up the one flight of stairs in my home.  I was absolutely elated, high on life. Just really, really, tired all the time. And, I wasn't really that fat.  Not for my age.

I used every excuse in the book.  The fault was with the diets.  Society.  (Do you know how easy it is to get chocolate and sausage egg and cheese biscuits in this country?)  I was getting older.  (I used that one all the time.)  I think they make clothes smaller now than they did when I was younger, don't they?  Didn't I read that in the news somewhere?

Then one day, I was sitting in one of my favorite restaurants.  I happened to glance beside me and I saw a fat, old lady sitting there.  It was me!  I was looking at my reflection in a wall of mirrors!  Why, oh, why do business decorate with mirrors!  I was mortified!  Until that moment, I had been able to deceive myself, but now, no more. Suddenly, I knew the truth.  I saw me like I would see a stranger.  On that day, I woke up, and started participating in life again.  I knew that I would do something about this.

That sounds easy.  Do something about it.  What, go on another diet?  I knew that I would fail.  I didn't want to starve anymore.  I didn't want to eat tuna three times a day.  Or banana's or cabbage or any of those other things.  I didn't want to give up chocolate either.  Well what did I want to do?  Hmm....

First, I decided to find out how many calories (approx) that I was supposed to have.  I heard an easy formula somewhere on one of those weight loss TV shows that I decided to go with.  Your weight times ten.  Plus your weight.

For example:  184 x 10 = 1840 + 184 = 2024

That would be the number of calories that I was taking in to remain at that weight.  So, if I wanted to lose weight, I needed to decrease that number by either eating less or increasing my activity.  Wow, that sounds so easy.  So, why haven't I even been able to do it?

Next, I needed to figure out how many calories I was actually taking in.  So, I decided not to change anything and just write down everything I ate for the next two weeks to get an idea of where I was. 

The next day I recorded everything that went into my mouth.  The total...3200 calories.  What?  Are you kidding me?  I did not need another two weeks of eating like that to tell me that at the rate I was going using my formula I would eventually weight almost 300 pounds.  My diet was filled with butter, sauces, lots of red meat and sugar.  Did I mention veggies?  No.  Because there almost weren't any. 

This time I was not going to put myself under any pressure.  No time tables.  No, "Lose 25lbs in two weeks" bull that diets try to sell you.  No, this time I was going to figure it out.

During the next several months all I really did was give up butter, margarine and all sauces.  If I ate a baked potato, I ate it plain.  Even in a restaurant, plain.  I lost nine pounds and kept it off.  I had more energy and I looked a little better, but I really wasn't changing my life the way I wanted.  I still did not eat right.  As I matter of fact I wasn't even sure what eating right was.  I usually skipped breakfast, and by mid-morning was munching on chocolate chip cookies. (180 calories x 3 or 4.)  Then, I would eat lunch and sort of snack on through until dinner and I did not give up desserts either.  I was happy that I had made a change, but really disappointed in myself to not taking this more seriously.

I made another decision.  I decided to join weight watchers online.  My sister had joined and rejoined it for the last couple of years.  And while she followed the program she had lost a few pounds.  Only to gain it all back when she stopped.  I had only written down what I ate that first day months ago when I scared myself after I figured out how many calories I was eating a day.  I thought that if I had a chart and an easy way to keep up with it. I would be able to get control of myself. 

I started the program and started reading about what I should be eating.  I was surprised to discover that I should have at least five servings of fruit and vegetable every day.  Wow, every day?  You would think that little tidbit of information would have rubbed off into my brain after all these years.   I was still afraid of being hungry.  As much as I was eating everyday.  I had not felt hunger in years. 

Oh, well here goes.  I threw myself into the program.  And for the first time I learned what I was supposed to be eating.  I used every trick I could think of (and still do) to substitute low cal for high cal things I like.  I ate whatever I wanted to, but I tried to first eat what I was supposed to and then add in the bad stuff that I craved.  I made up recipes.  Invented new drinks and ways to keep me full.  And right now including my first 9 pounds I have lost....40 pounds...so far. TA DA!  But, I still have a long way to go.

Weight watchers doesn't count calories, but, I still add up my calories at the end of everyday, just to make sure.  And I break all the rules by weighing myself everyday! 

In my next blog I will write about how I have changed and how I feel now as opposed to then.  Maybe I will even include a recipe or two.  But for now this has really gotten long.